What the obsession with high street Christmas sandwiches is really about

Exactly when retailers began selling ridiculous Christmas food products is hard to say. Maybe it was 2015, when Marks and Spencer released its festive ‘brussemole’ and Tesco decided it would be a good idea to launch a chocolate and cherry sandwich. Whoever convinced M&S to sell pots of mushed miniature cabbage is surely a genius.

In Britain today, the run-up to Christmas isn’t only about shopping for spruces and preparing vats of sickly mulled wine—it is also when the supermarkets start rolling out seasonal treats that are farcical to the point of boundless intrigue. Each year, their inventions have become more outlandish and preposterous than the last. To date, we’ve had everything from Christmas pudding smoothies to prosecco flavoured crisps; Brussels sprouts-infused tea to Stilton cheesecake.

All the supermarkets are at it—even Waitrose, which last year constructed a sausage-based festive wreath in which plump Cumberlands were delicately tangled like holly and ivy upon a candlelit, snow-draped door. It may or may not have better resembled the intestines of a slaughtered pig. Never mind the cranberry glaze.

Still, such gimmicks are not entirely nonsensical. There’s no escaping the fact these creations pique consumer interest, particularly on social media, where bizarre food often reaches dizzying virality. It’s free marketing. Or at least it’s much cheaper than an expensive television campaign with Elton John or an animated penguin.

“It’s about two things: press and innovation,” says William Leigh, head of innovation at specialist sweet maker Candy Mechanics.

“Supermarkets (and restaurants) are competing for press coverage to deliver on their seasonal targets; the more outlandish an idea is, the more likely it is to get featured.”

“It does drive sales and this in turn gives you a second round of press—when your bonkers crisp flavours are sold out because everyone has rushed out to try them.”

Christmas has always been a spendy time. It’s the only period where indulgence and excess are celebrated, rather than considered woefully extravagant. As such, retailers covet footfall and rely on a rush of cash.

Only these days, given the political and economic climate, consumers aren’t spending as they once were. Perhaps these wacky products are designed to appeal to us during less lucrative times?

Brand researcher Tessa Stewart says Christmas is a “key trading period,” and one that’s becoming increasingly competitive. “Launching ridiculous food products is much cheaper than other ad campaigns. It’s a supplementary thing for some companies, but really important too.”

“Social media has allowed for quick, reactive marketing. We’ll see more of these horror mash-ups because it gets people talking and it’s playful. And if people are having a bit of a rubbish time, when everything’s a bit awful, it’s also something quite fun.”

Is this another ‘buy lots of avocado toast, but not a house’ situation?

“We’re living in a time where young people aren’t going to out-earn their parents or own houses like they did,” says Ms Stuart.

“This stuff is something to enjoy. The weirder the greater the impact. Although retailers will get more desperate and might backfire eventually.”

It might be time to suspend our cynicism. Nobody in product development envisages Christmas dinner Yule Logs or mince pie and Wensleydale sandwiches becoming culinary juggernauts. We all know what’s up: supermarkets need us more than ever, and we all need a warming dose of alternative festive cheer.

Financial firm Deloitte notes food trends are more than ever pegged to “informality” and “experience.” It’s nothing new that budgets are squeezed, so quick-hits suit both seller and buyer. Consumers today are an informal, snack-driven bunch who are even drawn to promiscuity: Deloitte observes a “lack of brand loyalty and willingness to experiment with alternative cuisines.”

Hey ho, bring out the pigs-in-blankets tea bags, who cares where they’re from? And fetch a seasonal buffet selection while you’re at it. Because, quite frankly, who doesn’t fancy gammon waffles and mac ‘n’ cheese-filled Yorkshire puddings.

“I think it’s easier to give yourself a treat when it feels like the whole world is on fire and the lunatics in charge seem hellbent on pouring more petrol on the blaze,” says Sam Herlihy, co-founder of London sandwich shop Sons + Daughters (as ever, supermarkets reflect restaurant trends too).

“Whether that’s a Greggs sausage roll or some under-ripe avocado on toast it doesn’t matter. We’re all going to die soon anyway so you may as well go out with Monster Munch crumbs on your face or a handful of Herta hotdogs in your cold dead hands.”

With that warming sentiment, all that’s left is to bid you Merry Christmas, I suppose.