The first thing I would do if I ruled the world would be to ban hypothetical questions such as “what would you do if you ruled the world?” Having said that, if I did rule the world, I would ensure that all my subjects rose to the maximum level of their talent. All the social and political barriers to achievement would be broken down— inequality, lack of access to education and healthcare, discrimination and bigotry. When you remove the barriers to opportunity, great things happen. As part of the campaign against discrimination I would outlaw the outlawing of homosexuality. There are 78 countries in the world where homosexuality is still a crime. If I ruled the world, I would force them all to submit to more liberal attitudes.
Next, I would make sure that people understand that we need energy not just for making things better for rich people, but also for relieving poverty. Without energy we cannot do that. We have to use hydrocarbons, but we should use them wisely. We also need to give up using coal and, until we get something better, increase our use of natural gas.
There needs to be a shift in attitudes to climate change. I would ban people saying that doing something about climate change is about “saving the planet.” It’s actually about saving humanity—the planet will look after itself, whether we’re here or not. I subscribe wholeheartedly to James Lovelock’s “Gaia” theory, which argues that the Earth and all the animals that inhabit it form a self-regulating, complex entity. Here are some of the things I would do as part of this fight to save humanity. First, I would pour large sums of money into funding for research into renewable energy. Currently, we’re not spending enough. This would have to be a global programme—an Apollo-style programme—to which all nations would subscribe. Second, I would make sure that everyone understood that, if we don’t get this right, people will start migrating all over the world because of changes in land configuration. We might be worried about migration today, but we haven’t seen anything yet. Everyone needs to understand why we are trying to reduce or eliminate the risk of climate change.
If I ruled the world, the distinction between refugees and migrants would be enshrined in a global constitution. There would be no chance of the two being confused, as the west is currently in danger of doing with the crisis caused by the civil war in Syria. Surely great nations must accept refugees? That’s part of the duty inherent in being a great power. Migration is a different matter, and one that needs to be thought through comprehensively and clearly.
Trust would be an important value if I ruled the world. When BP started doing business in West Papua in Indonesia, I was told that the first thing I needed to do was move a village. At that point I realised something was terribly wrong and went off to find out what was going on. I discovered a population cowed by enormous human rights abuses and villagers at war with each other. There were also environmental issues: people were fishing in the bay with no restriction and forests were being torn up to make way for palm oil trees. We put people on the ground to speak to the locals and set up an independent commission to report on BP’s activity in the region. I insisted that the report had to be totally independent. That didn’t go down well internally, but it was essential if we were going to win the community’s trust and support. On a less serious note, I would outlaw abuses of the English language that encourage sloppy thinking. I would ban people from starting letters or emails with “Hi” and would encourage them to pay close attention to the rules of punctuation. Everybody would be issued with a copy of the popular guide to punctuation, Eats, Shoots and Leaves. They would have no excuse for ever misusing an apostrophe again. I would also outlaw the use of nouns as verbs, a particular plague in the world of business.
I would place a total ban on corporate financial reporting on a quarterly basis, which reduces the attention span of executives and confuses everybody—shareholders as well as managers. Far too often it results in people measuring the noise not the signal. Finally, I would insist that all businesspeople read at least four books a year. The only business book they would be allowed to read is mine. The other three would have to be drawn from the great resources of world literature.
Interview: Serena Kutchinsky
