Are you following the election, despite no longer being eligible to vote in the UK?
I’m on tour in the UK with my new book at the moment, so I have been following it in a half-arsed way. A Labour government backed by the SNP is looking like a strong possibility. I’m hopeful that this could be a watershed moment in British politics and that we don’t just end up with the same government we had before.
If you could choose anyone from any of the parties to be Prime Minister, who would it be?
There’s no ideal choice. David Cameron has no substance. Ed Miliband isn’t strong enough to stand up to him on the big questions. And you can forget Clegg because you can’t look at him without thinking tuition fees, tuition fees, tuition fees. He’s a spineless bullshitter. What has he done in government? Absolutely nothing.
Is the surge in support for the Scottish Nationalist Party good for Scotland, and how will it impact on the rest of the United Kingdom?
If the SNP’s support rises much further Scotland will become a one party state. I’m not sure that’s a positive as they will eventually be blamed for all Scotland’s ills. Right now they’re riding the tide towards independence. There’s not much they can do to mess it up, nor is there much the Unionists can do to derail them. It’s not about whether or not the SNP make a strategic error, or the opposition Unionist parties play a tactical card—British national consciousness has gone. People are orientated toward their own regions rather than the idea of Britain.
Is there anything the Labour Party can do to avoid a total wipeout in Scotland?
The best Labour can hope for in Scotland is a landslide against them rather than an avalanche. Everybody who voted Yes [in the referendum] is going to support the SNP. A lot of people who voted No and feel betrayed by the lack of real devolution, which was promised [by the three main party leaders] in “the vow”are also going to vote SNP. A lot of the No vote came out to save the Union, but they’re not going to come out to save the Labour or Conservative parties because they don’t give a fuck about them.
How would the characters such as Renton and Sick Boy from Trainspotting and the sex-mad cab driver/drug dealer Juice Terry from your new book, A Decent Ride, vote?
I think Renton might be cynical and not vote. With Sick Boy, it would depend how much money he has in the bank at the time. Begbie would probably vote SNP, just out of patriotic instinct. Spud would vote for the Greens or any organisation that supports animal welfare. Juice Terry would vote for Nicola Sturgeon. He wouldn't have voted for Alex Salmond but he would vote for Nicola.
Is that because she’s a “tidy lassie”?
Yeah. She’s not bad. Terry finds every woman tidy, they just have to be a woman. It doesn’t matter what shape or size they are—there’s no such thing as a bad or good looking woman to Terry.
You currently live in Chicago and are eligible to vote in the American presidential election in 2016. Do you know which way you’ll be voting?
The idea that it might be Clinton vs Bush in the race for the 2016 White House is horrible. If anything shows you that the American political system is irredeemably fucked it’s that. They fought the War of Independence [1775–1783, against the British] to get away from all that elitism, and now they’ve created this hierarchical system where you have to be a billionaire with a brand name to be able to run for president. It’s the best democracy money can buy.
Don’t you think it would be seen as a sign of social progress for America to have its first female president?
Hillary Clinton is a power-mad opportunist. It’s no good just having a token woman. We should ban men from standing for election in America or Britain for 10 to 15 years to create generational change. The patriarchy has failed. If you had more women in government, then you could avoid breeding these pseudo-male Thatcherite characters. A different kind of politics would emerge, with a different set of policies. There would be more about education and childcare, and less about pointless wars.
Your new book is written in your trademark Scottish dialect, or Welshian dialect as one critic recently described it. Are you happy with the idea that you’ve added your own vernacular to literature?
It’s really just an Edinburgh dialect but I’m happy to take credit for it. In A Decent Ride when Juice Terry speaks to the tourists he picks up in his cab from the airport he’s a little bit more precise in his pronunciation, and when he’s with his mates his speech is more Scottish. When you do a book like Trainspotting, the accents are thick because they reflect a certain culture, time and place.
Do you sometimes worry that your characters don't present the best image of Scotland to the world?
I’m not paid by the Scottish tourist board to represent Scotland. My characters represent me. Scotland is a house of many rooms, like every country is, and you can't have one character in fiction trying to represent an entire country.
Juice Terry was a character from an earlier book Glue (2001), why was this the right time to revive him? Did you want to write a book about Scotland on the brink of the independence referendum?
I had the idea for A Decent Ride about two years ago. Hurricane Bawbag [a fictional natural disaster which hits Edinburgh in the book] is a metaphor for the referendum—this big national event which was supposed to shake everything up forever. The Scottish and English have not had their own distinct histories for 300 years—people talked about it in cataclysmic terms. Either independence was going to be the best thing since sliced bread or it was going to be a total disaster. Scottish history is all about the Battles ofBannockburn (1314) or Culloden (1746), that’s how we see things—it’s either this great triumph or this horrible defeat. Its not feasible to conceive of a modern western democracy in such medieval terms. Scotland has to grow up a bit and think rationally about what’s happening.
You seem to be quite prolific currently. The Sex Life of Siamese Twins was only published last year, Have you found a new source of inspiration?
I’ve got another book coming out this year and I’m doing more screenwriting for TV. I’ve upped my game. I’m more settled in my home life and I’m more organised in terms of work. I’m also getting to that stage in my life where I can’t go out drinking and taking drugs. That gives you a lot more energy.
You never party any more?
Maybe once in a wee while. But, when you get to my age it can't be a lifestyle thing. You just have a wee tear up every now and then.
The new book is funny but also breaks a few of society’s last taboos such as necrophilia, do you ever get tired of being controversial?
I don’t see myself as controversial or a serial taboo breaker. In terms of fiction you write the story that fits the characters, you let them have a good time. If you set out to shock it never works.
How do you go about writing a scene where someone has sex with a corpse?
The trick was to make the scene more about that character’s longing [for his dead girlfriend] and his desire to connect with her. I think the necrophilia scene is quite tender. It’s about how lost the character, Wee Jonty, is without his partner. It’s not about him shagging a corpse.
You must be aware that the press are going to focus on these scenes though when you’re writing them?
No. You let your subconscious do the heavy lifting, then read it back and think “I’m a fucking weird bastard and no one is going to read this.” It’s a horrible feeling because you are exposed and vulnerable, but it’s also great because you know it’s working if you got a reaction from yourself.
Your new novel has been nominated for the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize (the UK’s only literary award for comic writing). What do you think PG Wodehouse would have made of it?
I hope he would have appreciated the sentiment of the book, and I’m sure the more he had to drink the more he would have enjoyed it.
I’m on tour in the UK with my new book at the moment, so I have been following it in a half-arsed way. A Labour government backed by the SNP is looking like a strong possibility. I’m hopeful that this could be a watershed moment in British politics and that we don’t just end up with the same government we had before.
If you could choose anyone from any of the parties to be Prime Minister, who would it be?
There’s no ideal choice. David Cameron has no substance. Ed Miliband isn’t strong enough to stand up to him on the big questions. And you can forget Clegg because you can’t look at him without thinking tuition fees, tuition fees, tuition fees. He’s a spineless bullshitter. What has he done in government? Absolutely nothing.
Is the surge in support for the Scottish Nationalist Party good for Scotland, and how will it impact on the rest of the United Kingdom?
If the SNP’s support rises much further Scotland will become a one party state. I’m not sure that’s a positive as they will eventually be blamed for all Scotland’s ills. Right now they’re riding the tide towards independence. There’s not much they can do to mess it up, nor is there much the Unionists can do to derail them. It’s not about whether or not the SNP make a strategic error, or the opposition Unionist parties play a tactical card—British national consciousness has gone. People are orientated toward their own regions rather than the idea of Britain.
Is there anything the Labour Party can do to avoid a total wipeout in Scotland?
The best Labour can hope for in Scotland is a landslide against them rather than an avalanche. Everybody who voted Yes [in the referendum] is going to support the SNP. A lot of people who voted No and feel betrayed by the lack of real devolution, which was promised [by the three main party leaders] in “the vow”are also going to vote SNP. A lot of the No vote came out to save the Union, but they’re not going to come out to save the Labour or Conservative parties because they don’t give a fuck about them.
How would the characters such as Renton and Sick Boy from Trainspotting and the sex-mad cab driver/drug dealer Juice Terry from your new book, A Decent Ride, vote?
I think Renton might be cynical and not vote. With Sick Boy, it would depend how much money he has in the bank at the time. Begbie would probably vote SNP, just out of patriotic instinct. Spud would vote for the Greens or any organisation that supports animal welfare. Juice Terry would vote for Nicola Sturgeon. He wouldn't have voted for Alex Salmond but he would vote for Nicola.
Is that because she’s a “tidy lassie”?
Yeah. She’s not bad. Terry finds every woman tidy, they just have to be a woman. It doesn’t matter what shape or size they are—there’s no such thing as a bad or good looking woman to Terry.
You currently live in Chicago and are eligible to vote in the American presidential election in 2016. Do you know which way you’ll be voting?
The idea that it might be Clinton vs Bush in the race for the 2016 White House is horrible. If anything shows you that the American political system is irredeemably fucked it’s that. They fought the War of Independence [1775–1783, against the British] to get away from all that elitism, and now they’ve created this hierarchical system where you have to be a billionaire with a brand name to be able to run for president. It’s the best democracy money can buy.
Don’t you think it would be seen as a sign of social progress for America to have its first female president?
Hillary Clinton is a power-mad opportunist. It’s no good just having a token woman. We should ban men from standing for election in America or Britain for 10 to 15 years to create generational change. The patriarchy has failed. If you had more women in government, then you could avoid breeding these pseudo-male Thatcherite characters. A different kind of politics would emerge, with a different set of policies. There would be more about education and childcare, and less about pointless wars.
Your new book is written in your trademark Scottish dialect, or Welshian dialect as one critic recently described it. Are you happy with the idea that you’ve added your own vernacular to literature?
It’s really just an Edinburgh dialect but I’m happy to take credit for it. In A Decent Ride when Juice Terry speaks to the tourists he picks up in his cab from the airport he’s a little bit more precise in his pronunciation, and when he’s with his mates his speech is more Scottish. When you do a book like Trainspotting, the accents are thick because they reflect a certain culture, time and place.
Do you sometimes worry that your characters don't present the best image of Scotland to the world?
I’m not paid by the Scottish tourist board to represent Scotland. My characters represent me. Scotland is a house of many rooms, like every country is, and you can't have one character in fiction trying to represent an entire country.
Juice Terry was a character from an earlier book Glue (2001), why was this the right time to revive him? Did you want to write a book about Scotland on the brink of the independence referendum?
I had the idea for A Decent Ride about two years ago. Hurricane Bawbag [a fictional natural disaster which hits Edinburgh in the book] is a metaphor for the referendum—this big national event which was supposed to shake everything up forever. The Scottish and English have not had their own distinct histories for 300 years—people talked about it in cataclysmic terms. Either independence was going to be the best thing since sliced bread or it was going to be a total disaster. Scottish history is all about the Battles ofBannockburn (1314) or Culloden (1746), that’s how we see things—it’s either this great triumph or this horrible defeat. Its not feasible to conceive of a modern western democracy in such medieval terms. Scotland has to grow up a bit and think rationally about what’s happening.
You seem to be quite prolific currently. The Sex Life of Siamese Twins was only published last year, Have you found a new source of inspiration?
I’ve got another book coming out this year and I’m doing more screenwriting for TV. I’ve upped my game. I’m more settled in my home life and I’m more organised in terms of work. I’m also getting to that stage in my life where I can’t go out drinking and taking drugs. That gives you a lot more energy.
You never party any more?
Maybe once in a wee while. But, when you get to my age it can't be a lifestyle thing. You just have a wee tear up every now and then.
The new book is funny but also breaks a few of society’s last taboos such as necrophilia, do you ever get tired of being controversial?
I don’t see myself as controversial or a serial taboo breaker. In terms of fiction you write the story that fits the characters, you let them have a good time. If you set out to shock it never works.
How do you go about writing a scene where someone has sex with a corpse?
The trick was to make the scene more about that character’s longing [for his dead girlfriend] and his desire to connect with her. I think the necrophilia scene is quite tender. It’s about how lost the character, Wee Jonty, is without his partner. It’s not about him shagging a corpse.
You must be aware that the press are going to focus on these scenes though when you’re writing them?
No. You let your subconscious do the heavy lifting, then read it back and think “I’m a fucking weird bastard and no one is going to read this.” It’s a horrible feeling because you are exposed and vulnerable, but it’s also great because you know it’s working if you got a reaction from yourself.
Your new novel has been nominated for the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize (the UK’s only literary award for comic writing). What do you think PG Wodehouse would have made of it?
I hope he would have appreciated the sentiment of the book, and I’m sure the more he had to drink the more he would have enjoyed it.
